Approved Of, Not Overlooked

by Mum Dee on May 30, 2010

I have four children and they often wanted my undivided attention at the same time. It was difficult sometimes to be able to spread myself around enough to meet all of their expectations. What is a person to do? It is unfortunate that sometimes our children feel that we love one of their siblings more than we love them because they think they are not getting enough of our undivided attention. Another issue is that they can feel that they don’t measure up as well as their siblings do.

Spending a little time individually with each of my children made a huge difference in how they felt in the long term. I would make a date with them and we would get to go do something together. Just the two of us! That would let them know that I enjoyed their company and would seek out time just to be with them. It offered us a great opportunity to share in a way that is difficult antiviral when other ears are around and of course there are no interruptions from annoying sisters or brothers. Everything revolves around them. How delightful!

Another thing that really helps a child to see their value in our eyes is when we take the time to notice their qualities and accomplishments. It is so easy to notice the things that annoy us and we are very verbal about those. My children can surely attest to that! We just need to keep our eyes open for all the great things they do and point them out with words of praise. It is so wonderful to see their beaming smiles when they hear how much we approve of them. You will soon notice how you are building up their self-esteem and this will give them the ability to step out in life and tackle new challenges. Your opinion of them matters to them much more than the opinion of anyone else.

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Sonjay June 1, 2010

I was wondering to what extent culture plays a role in this? Here in Asia, many cultures toilet train their kids at a much earlier age. I’d be curious to hear what you have to say about that.

Also, came across this website: http://www.timl.com/tt/

I think it would be helpful for parents doing internet research to be able to come to your blog and see your thoughts/comments about certain hot new ideas that are buzzing in the parenting world on the internet. You can do a series on these, using the same titles/keywords.

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